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current top 10 eeky things in the life of me

1. Noah seems to have discovered his manhood all of a sudden. The moment he's naked he stares at his willy like he's never seen it before. Plus he plays with it every chance he gets... its like he's obsessed! He doesn't even play with his toys anymore in the shower, just his "one" toy if you get my meaning lol. What the?

2. Noah is officially booby weaned, yay. Not that I'm gonna get much of a chance to regain "normal" boobs anytime soon... *mutters something about baby blob*... but heck at least I won't be leeched on for a while. Yay, personal space, yay.

3. Our unit is filled with boxes atm, cardboard boxes... we might be moving... damn boxes everywhere!! And not just moving down the street or even to the next suburb - we're considering moving towns. Eeky on its own, but when you add the fact that we'd be moving away from friends but closer to family... now THAT'S an eek!

4. I realised today - while looking at the calendar - that its August, which means its almost Sept... which means its, like, Christmas soon! Holy crap! I think this is what they mean by "christmas in July" lol. You suddenly realise you can't afford Christmas even tho its 5 months away and start to immediately and frantically search for bargains. :P

5. I saw the funniest sight the other day while shopping... remember the Flintstones? No joke, I saw an old woman sitting in a wheelchair, with her feet dangling onto the floor, shuffling the wheelchair along. I swear to god it was an official bedrock wheelchair, minus the stone wheels. Whats the point lol? I wanted to sing the yabadabadooo song Fred-and-Barney-style, but I somehow managed to restrain myself... but only just. Yeah yeah, I know I know... its one of those visual "you had to be there" kind of things but I don't care. Frick it was funny. :P

6....

Ahh fuck it, 5 will do. I'm tired. :P

*hyperventilates* I saw the R rating, and for a sec I thought "oh fk they're gonna delete me like msn did to my first blog"... but, phew...

LOL. Stay away kiddies!

Hmm... I need to make this blog worse. An R rating is not bad enough when you compare it to Moth's NC-17 (no one under 17 allowed) rating for his anti-christian whinging "yes we were sheep, but thank the lord we got out... oops, not the lord... thank someone else instead... oh gosh I don't know who to thank now, what do I do?" blog.

So I guess I'll have to add more swear words.
Here goes... just the basics...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
shit shit shit shit shit shit
ass ass ass ass ass ass
bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt
hell hell hell hell hell hell
bastard bastard bastard bastard
piss piss piss piss piss piss
dick dick dick dick dick dick
tit tit tit tit tit tit

Arrgh what have I missed?

oops... lovey crap

I forgot to mention earlier, in the previous blog, about my vow problems (thats v-o-w not b-o-w-e-l btw).

I had written a first draft ages ago, and left it stored on my pc. So... turns out I completely forgot to print it out and take it with me when I packed and left the house, heading out for my 24 hours of fun friend stuff/avoid husband to be stuff. So I figured, what the heck, no big deal, I'll just write new vows. Shouldn't be that hard huh?

Cept I never did. I couldn't decide what to say and I was either hanging with friends or too tired or sleeping or whatever to sit down and try to write something. Turns out it WAS too hard lol.

So 4pm comes around - half an hour to go till the big W - and I still have no idea what to say. I, like, have no vows! I'm fully stressing out. We leave the hotel... and I'm asking everyone around me for some vow advice... eek! We get to the Point and there's everyone waiting... AND STILL I HAVE NO FRICKIN VOWS!

I said a quick hello to everyone, including Luke lol... and then immediately said to the pastor marrying us, "shit Jason I have no vows". I think he actually breathed a sigh of relief lol. Turns out he was really worried about what non-traditional stuff Luke and I might say. LOL. So he just added to the baptist vows we already "had" to say. Talk about a PHEW moment!

Anyhoo, Luke's first vow draft is actually left as a comment (sorta) on the previous previous blog lol. Yep, two previous's. He also did a speech that included what he wanted to say in his vows after the wedding dinner... so I figure wtf. Might as well blog what should have been my vows lol. So here it is:


Luke… I love you with everything I have to give. You are my love, my life, my world, and I thank you for being by my side as we raise our family.

I might occasionally use words like man-boy or geek-boy to describe you, but truth is that without you I would be lost. When you hold me, it’s as if the world stops and time ceases to be. I’ll be stressing out about something and you’ll just walk up and hug me, and suddenly everything is ok. You are the yin to my yang so to speak, and I feel so very blessed to be given the opportunity to share my life with you.

So.. on to the formal bit… I take you, Luke Cross, to be my friend, my lover, my husband. To live with you, and laugh with you. To stand by your side, and sleep in your arms. I give you my hand, I give you my love, and I give you myself.


And btw... you give it back Luke... and by "it" I mean my hand/love/self... and I breaka your legs. And breaking your legs includes slicing off your manhood. Just so you know. No threats or anything (man I don't know why the pastor was so worried about what I might say lol)...

its a love/hate thing

Wow what a weekend. I wish some parts went slower and other parts faster lol.

Here's the rundown:

• Friday -
  Yay, time with my best buds who I don't get to see much. Cept Looloo, I see her a lot lol. Hung out, got nails done, chatted about inane stuff, chatted about important stuff, had a few drinks, ate great food... and consequently went to bed way too late. Enjoyed it though.


• Saturday -
  Soooo hard to get out of bed in the morning. I actually thought about postponing the wedding for 24 hours so I could catch up on sleep lol. Not seriously... but, well, you know. I was tired and wanted to lie in bed all day. One of those "wish time would stop for a while" moments. Noah, on the other hand, was wide awake and crawling all over me from sunrise onwards. Grr.
  Conscripted the Mothman to go do jobs for me by loaning him my car - phew. Cos I didn't have enough hours in the day to do everything lol. Thanks!
  Pick up kids, pick up cake, get hair done etc, all that "mutton dressed as lamb" wedding stuff... man I looked like a clown. :S
  Pick up more kids, drop off cake, and its back to the hotel to prepare food, set up the balcony, ice the drinks... oh and actually get dressed.
  Noah, of course, decided he needed feeding at precisely the time I needed to leave for the wedding, so, yup, I was late. Oops.


• The wedding ceremony -
  Beautiful time of day, sunset. At the top of the boardwalk, the point, on a cliff, overlooking the beach... blah blah. I was sooo very nervous. I can't even put the level of my nerves into words. I was all eeky lol.
  Check out some of the pics below. But ignore my fetal gut. Why oh why do all the photos we've seen so far ALL contain my giant stomach! Whats with that! I hate photos at the best of time cos I always look stupid in them. I'm either smiling too much or not enough, or maybe I blinked just as the camera went off, or maybe... meh, trust me, I hate photos. I look stupid in 2D. Point is - I'm all *shudders* in every damn wedding photo. What is wrong with you people! Sigh. I am never (I repeat, never!) allowing photos of me to be taken ever, EVER again.

• The fun wedding bits -
  We all went back to the hotel balcony (hhuuuugeee balcony!) for drinks and nibblies and stuff. In fact we were there so long that I had to ring the surf club and tell them we were going to be 40 mins late for the dinner lol.
  But, meh, there were drinks and chats to be had! (and omg you should have seen the mess in the morning!)
  Then it was off to the Surf Club for dinner and a speech or two and the *drools* yummy cake. And of course... more chatting, more drinking, a dance or two... heck, even some pokie playing by the drunkards amongst us.
  
• Retrospectively -
  I think most people appreciated the relaxed atmosphere of the ceremony and the celebrations afterwards... altho I know some family members weren't impressed lol. I felt most sorry for my grandparents, who really shouldnt have had to walk all over the place or wait so long for their dinner etc. But I did try to look after them.
  A couple of my close friends sat at the kids tables too, so it was hard for them to mingle etc. I don't think they enjoyed themselves much either. :(
  But, yeah, I hope most people thought it was a nice wedding. We wanted it be relaxed and easy going - no traditional pompous crap. I hate crap lol. I just hope it didn't come just across as totally unorganised, eek.
  Food was great (thanks to Looloo and her mum and Kate - you guys are legends!), there were heaps of drinks to be had (woot!). What more could one ask for lol?
  Luke's asked me not to bitch, but I dunno, can't help it. A heap of family members left early, part way through the pre-dinner celebrations at the hotel... thats before we even got to the surf club lol. Makes me feel sad for Luke as well as personally offended. I don't get that - some people just have different priorities I guess. Family first doesn't always apply (oh I just realised thats a Dr Phil quote lol - how sad!)
  
• All in all... and I'm not really bitching, I'm just reflecting on the good and the bad...
  It was a no-stress, relaxed celebration with our closest friends and family. I had a good time (even tho Noah was painful here and there), Luke had a good time... and I hope most people enjoyed themselves. We really appreciate the efforts made by everyone to come and spend this time with us, especially those who travelled long distances. We had guests fly and drive to the coast from as far away as Sydney and Mackay and, eek, even Central Qld!!
  
• Today -
  Its weird but I'm having a sad day today. Keep thinking about things that happened over the weekend, things that were said, the things I should have said and didn't... I keep replaying stuff over in my head, like its a movie and I'm re-watching my favourite scenes lol. Heck, in some scenes I'm even the director lol, changing things, doing things differently. I think they call that daydreaming lol.
  I think I'm most sad that the weekends over, and that we're home already, back to normal life. Sigh.

Like I said before... wow what a weekend.

Japanese toilet training... eek

yo...

Yes I am sometimes neurotic and yes I am sometimes sorta OCD-y. Just occasionally. At uni I used to do all sorts of weird stuff lol, like carry my toothbrush everywhere cos I "had" to brush my teeth everytime I ate anything... everytime I drank anything... and omg if I had coke, it was like a 5 min brushing!!

I'm pretty good now tho I think. I still see structure and balance and parallels between stuff... like the white lines on the road, or the distance between my foot and the curb or some other insane thing. I most often think about it in terms of elastics... remember that game kids play with the elastics? You used to have to aim for the perfect centre etc... well thats what I think of way too often with regards to the white lines on the road or the distance between light poles... I know, I know. Weird. Heck... at least I don't tap words out on an imaginery keyboard in my sleep anymore... lol.

Strange thing is, my 11 yr daughter was describing very, very similar behaviour herself on the weekend. She was talking about the white lines on zebra crossings and how she likes to stand evenly on and between them... sigh. Maybe its genetic?

My latest fascination, however, is with number plates and, well, my name (yes, yes, make ego jokes, I don't care). I literally see my name everywhere, in nearly every number plate. Well... the ones that stand out anyway. To the non-me number plates I say pfft!

Not that this is difficult being that there are sooo many ways to give one's name meaning with three letters. Think about it... I have three initials, easy. But I also have a maiden name... and I shall soon be changing my name... so thats actually three different versions of the three initial thing alone. And then, my name being Jo, I can easily adapt this logic to include J-O- and then any one of the 3 surname initials. And then there's the fact that my surname change will actually be to Cross. So not only can that last initial be C, but it can also be X to symbolise an actual cross. And THEN, I used to be called Jo Jo as a kid (hate that with a vengeance, stupid relatives!), so I can also adapt J-J- and then anyone of the last initials as well.

Sigh. Get the picture? It's like my name is everywhere!!!!

I think, well, I know, I'm a little weirded out by the upcoming name change. I've been Jo K for 11 years now and I'm used to it... so I feel almost as if I'm losing part of me. And yet on the other hand... cool, new name lol. Same as Noah, yay. Yep, I'm fickle. But I think this new name initial / number plate obsession is related to the whole wedding thing... or at least I'm telling myself that cos otherwise I seem insane for no reason at all.

Here's just a few of the number plates I've seen recently that made me do a double take and think "omg its me!!" LOL

JSH JSK JSC JSX (my 2nd name Sux :P)

JOH JOK JOC JOX (obvious lol)

JJH JJK JJC JJX (yep, Jo Jo *shudders*)

JNX (Jo & Noah X) JLX (Jo & Luke X)

JOE (well, why not!)

EEK (long story... I so want this number plate!)

INA (just like my car! I've seen a few ina's lately!)

And I get doubly excited if the numbers match too. Like... 317 my birthdate, or 974 my birthyear, or 32 anything - my age lol. I also get excited if I see a car with the same 3 numbers as my ina too lol. Sad huh.

Sigh. Perhaps I should make a new blog label and call it "this insanity is driving me crazy".

eek

Is it just me or are testicles just plain weird?

Wikipedia... The testicle (from Latin testis, plural testes) is the male generative gland in animals. Male mammals have two testicles, which are often contained within an extension of the abdomen called the scrotum.

Thanks Wiki but I sorta already knew that bit lol.

*scours the net looking for interesting info about the aforementioned generative gland otherwise known as the testes*

Wanna know what happens to someone who somehow manages to "lose" his testicles?
Man, youtube is an amazingly educational source...
I wonder if this interviewer managed to keep his job lol.



Um... apparently testicles aren't just a matter of comedy.
They're also a delicassy in some cultures.
Eek. Let's so not go there... I'm feeling ill all of a sudden.



Preparing testicles in Jakata... where they're known as Sweet Meats.
Warning: never eat anything called Sweet Meats when overseas.

Vomit.

Blog over.

P.S. I'm soooo not gonna blog this... but here's the link anyway.
Male genital and rectum exam: a practical guide
About time men experienced invasive medical procedures lol.
LOL.. as in... real life lol'ing.

talk about an eek moment

Our wedding's like 8 weeks away, which isn't long. So my bud Looloo and I spent the last two days doing wedding crap.

Yesterday - fun, filling. We went to all the restaurants on the "maybe" list and ate food. OMG. I'm salivating again just thinking about. Ended up deciding on this quaint little thai place that overlooks the beach. The curry was devine and they cater for all types of fussy eaters... yay! OH and when we were full to the point of exhaustion, we tried to walk off the calories by going for a walk on the boardwalk at the beach. I showed Looloo the place where we want to do our vows etc, so that was cool too. I think she liked it lol.

Today - dress hunt. A dress for me and a dress for my 11 yr daughter La. Frickin frickin tiring. I found a elegant green dress that I really really like.. but its like, green. Then I found a really funky black and white dress.. but i'd have to alter the top cos my boobs hang out a tad too much. And apparently thats not kosher at a weding. Oh and let's not forget the blue dress, i liked that one heaps too. The skirt part was really cool and it fitted my growing belly region really well. But, of course, I couldn't decide. The green, the black and white, the blue... there was no "white" dress anywhere. I mean, I just wanted a simple ish white ish semi-formal fun type of dress. Pfft. No one makes those.

So... Looloo suggests (albeit with a look of fear on her face cos, well, I hate weddings and all the pompous traditions that go with them) that we check the bridal shop where she bought her deb dress from a few years back. I figure wtf, might as well.

AND OMG... they have baby tuxedos! I must have one for Noah! Sooo cute! And we found a tux for my 8yr old son too so he's stoked. He loves weddings (don't know where he gets that from!). And my daughter tried on every single dress her size in the shop. :P Seriously. She ended up deciding on this really simple embroidered dress that is just gorgeous. So yeah, the kids are organised. No probs. I don't mind if they're all formally dressed etc, its just me. I mean, I don't want to look like a stupid meringe or anything... do I?

Well, see, thats the thing. I tried on like 30 dresses, partly cos it was semi-fun and partly cos I couldn't decide on which style would best fit my fetally-growing tum tum... but mostly cos the two women in the shop just kept passing me stuff and saying "try this... oooh, try this one".

And... its hard for me to admit... but I liked a dress. An actual proper white wedding dress. It even has tule underneath the skirt. Like... tule. A wedding dress. A real one. And I liked it. OMG.

So now I'm in a quandry. Do I stick to our agreed "relaxed non formal" wedding or do I go ahead and buy the only dress I've seen so far which I actually like? Eek. I'd say I can't imagine me in a formal pompous wedding dress but I can lol, cos I did it today and I still have pics on my phone. LOL

I soo can't end this post with a "meh, whatever". This is more of an eek type of thing...

Eek.