stolen from james

1.What's in your wallet? Cards and more cards. Maybe $3 in change... maybe.
2.What's under your bed? Um... just the naughty stuff.
3.What's on that way top shelf or in the very far back of your closet? Swords. WK has silly swords lol. Even cut me with one once lol.
4.What's in your underwear drawer? Hmm. Underwear? Plus a few extras. ;)
5.What's in the trunk of your car? Oooh exciting stuff - pram, nappy bag, toys and a jack!
6.What colour is the underwear your wearing at this moment? Black. Shock.
7.Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what's in it? Um, no. I should get one tho. *thinks back to when I left a certain noticeably not PG rated phallic-shaped item on the table next to my bed, and the next day my daughter came into my bedroom for a chat, and I forgot it was there, and she had a weird look on her face*
8.Do you feel guilty about something right now, if yes what? Nah guilt smuilt.
9.What is the most embarrassing thing in your room right now? Um... the phallic-shaped item which is still sitting on the table next to my bed lol? Sad but true.
10.Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about? Like what? Hmm. I hope my doc doesn't find out I lied about my last hospital visit lol.
11.What is your last thought before you fall asleep? "I hope to fuck that this baby sleeps tonight... he better, or I'll..." *snore*. What can I say? I'm frickin tired.
12.How long have those leftovers been in the fridge? Lol, almost never. Almost. In fact, I don't think there are any atm.
13.If I confiscated your computer and took a look around....what would I find? Illegally downloaded music and porn. Plus a heap of boring animated and other moth-given pics. Thats it really. :P
14.Do you sleep with anything? Most nights just me and my pillow... and the baby... cos god forbid he slept all night in his damn cot. *swears*
15.What is your midnight snack weakness? I don't eat midnight snacks... I do however continually bitch about wanting one. And its normally things like pizza or nacho's or chocolate or coke or kfc or... basically anything bad.
16.Have you ever you shop lifted? Uh huh. Once. Scary lol. My ex-hub was a habitual thief tho (I tell ya, never trust a teacher!). He used to steal random things like a fork or knife from a restaurant, a glass from a pub... just for the "thrill" of stealing it.
17.Have you ever vandalized anything? Does high school count? Me and a bunch of girly friends once wrote nasty stuff on the back of a toilet door about a group of rival girls. Got busted for it too, since, like, we put our initials there lol. 14 yr old stupidity. I wasted hours of my life that week cleaning the damn toilet block.
18.Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Let's just say yes to be safe. Cos, well, yeah. I know a few devils lol, and I'm a bit of a night owl. :P
19.What do you wait until no one is looking to do? Heck, when is noone ever looking? Shit I have 3 kids and a partner and a cat... there is always SOMEONE around! I barely even get to shower alone dammit!

Thanks to Letters from the Sanitarium for this one. :D

note to self: Why, may I ask, are some Americans so damn self-obsessed? Grrr, get with the program people!

Answer: Dunno. lol.

In other news...

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat as much.
If you had a school for professional fireworks people, I don't think you could cover fuses in just one class. It's just too rich a subject.
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening.
If I live in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. Then, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like, "Hey look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everyone would get real quiet and ashamed, because they made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
When I think back on all the blessings I have been given in my life, I can't think of a single one, unless you count that rattlesnake that granted me all those wishes.
I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick 'Americans' as their mascot.
Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?"

LOL. Reminds me of Elliot Goblet.

And if you're in a comical type of mood and feel like poking fun at Americans, read on...

Q: How many Americans can you fit in a phone booth?
A: A whole army....if you put it in a desert and tell them its not theirs.

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

I know, I know, bad bad me. :P

It's not that I don't like Americans... I have some in my family lol. But... meh, whatever.

meh

Just in one of those off moods. I like this pic - found it a few nights ago on someone's blog somewhere... wish I could remember lol.

The whole person hiding within a person concept - intriguing. And notice how disjointed the "outer" person (the real actual person) is. I also like the fact that the person "looks" the same... the inner and outer person is actually represented the same visually (cept for the disjointed square thing of course lol). Anyhoo I like it and its appropriate atm.

In other news... that little inner person... thats how I sit in the shower lol. The grey stuff is the shower water and the little blue person hugging his/her legs while he's probably asleep (or maybe just very very sleepy) is, well, me!

Um.. what else is there.. meh, whatever. Tired. Hormonal probably. Stuff to do.

And speaking of stuff I just want to reiterate how much I dislike family and all their 'input' when it comes to weddings etc. Like, seriously, if you're thinking of getting married... its just not worth it. Elope instead. Unless you have one of those perfect beaver cleaver type families where everyone supports each other but minds their own business at the appropriate time... meh. Just elope. I hear hamilton island is a really nice "elope here" type of destination lol.

Where was I? Oh yeah. The wedding. Less than 2 weeks away. Its a very low key, informal affair. No big airy fairy reception, no flowers, no bridal party, no church, no rings (*sobs*), no cake... none of the pompous, silly wedding stuff. I'm really looking forward to the whole weekend... its just that we have other semi-more important stuff going on (like with baby blob for instance, and Noah). So when family keep going on and on about wedding crap... I'm like, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Obviously getting married IS a big deal... but the wedding details are so NOT a big deal. Sigh.

I'm sooo talking in circles. Tired. End blog.

Japanese toilet training... eek

baby blob update

"Welcome to your second trimester! Your raging hormones could be calming down a bit and you may also notice your nausea tapering off. Most women happily wave goodbye to morning sickness around now (although queasiness can return periodically throughout pregnancy). This week, your baby's face looks much more human, even though she is only about 5.5cms long from her crown to her rump and weighs slightly less than 14 grams. Her eyes have moved closer together and her ears are just about where they should be. Your baby has entered what is known as the fetal period, when tissues and organs rapidly grow and mature. Many women enjoy pregnancy much more in this trimester."

Hmm. So apparently I can't bitch about pregnancy nausea anymore, damn. And its looking more human... great. AND, hmm, apparently its a girl! No ultrasound needed after all! Thanks BabyCentre!!

In other news... that pics looks human?? Eek. And why is that cartoon woman not even showing a tummy? This is my 4th baby... 9th pregnancy all up... so I'm HUGE! I think I was this big at the end of my first pregnancy lol. Stupid non elastic skin and stupid stretchy womb. Grrr.

P.S. Am I the only one who thinks that little widget baby is starting to look really really creepy?

serious for a blog-sec

I started surfing wedding disasters... looking for an interesting blog idea lol. But I got a little sidetracked by this episode of Dr Phil called Child Predators. Thought I should do my moral duty and pass on the info...

You could be sitting next to one in church or standing next to one at the grocery store. Who is trying to prey on your children? Dr. Phil goes into a maximum security prison and inside the mind of a child predator. Learn how they operate and how to spot them.

Spotting a Predator - The most dangerous pedophile might look like the person next door. A convicted child molester explains how he deceived children and their parents.

• According to David, he molested at least 100 children. To get children to trust him, he said he would talk in a high, child-like voice, and ask them about games or toys that they liked. He also said his appearance helped children feel comfortable with him. "If I was dressed in overalls and looked like a country hick, I would appeal to very few people," David explained. Instead, he says he made sure to have clothing and hair that the kids would think was "cool."
• David usually got to know the children and their families well. "The grooming process," he explains, "is the time that a pedophile takes in order to get the child ready to be molested. In my case, I don't pounce on them. I don't use money. I don't use drugs. I don't use pornography. I don't say, 'Don't tell your parents.' I look like an all-American boy."
• How can a parent spot a predator like David? He explains, "A parent can spot me when I'm going the extra mile, when I'm supposed to be doing something else. When something doesn't feel right to them, that should be a red flag, that should be a warning signal going off. As the saying goes, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
• If a parent is suspicious that someone is a predator, he/she should take action immediately. "Start asking questions, investigate his background, do whatever you need to do." David says. "Why am I spending so much time [with the child]? Why am I willing to do the extra things that I'm doing? Why do I caress them when I hug them?"He also warns parents about people who try to win children away from their parents with promises of gifts or money.
• David chose to be chemically castrated. Every two years he is evaluated, and may someday be released. If he got out today, would he molest children again? "Yes," he answers. "Do I want to be out before I'm ready? No, I don't."

What Parents Can Do - As scary as it may be, parents need to talk to their kids about people who might want to hurt them. The best way to protect your children is to get them involved in their own protection.

• Parents need to be aware of possible predators. Typical signs are: someone who seems too good to be true, who offers extensive help to your family, who knows too much about your kids or kids in general, especially if they don't have children of their own.
• Talk to your kids about pedophiles as soon as they can understand what you mean. As early as 3-5 years old, when kids begin to interact with the world, they're subject to being victims.
• Don't be afraid that you're scaring your kids, but don't ask them to deal with adult issues either. Speak to them in age-appropriate language and give them instructions about what to do. They will feel empowered by knowing how to protect themselves. Be careful sharing your own experiences if you were a victim of sexual molestation, for example. Providing too many details and rehashing the tragedy can create a sexually charged environment and be harmful for your children in the long run.
• Kids need to know that they have the right to say no, yell, or ask for help. It may contradict what they know about respecting adults, but if they feel threatened, they have permission to make a scene, or to run away to a public place. And they need to know they won't get into trouble if they were wrong.
• Make sure your kids know what is acceptable behavior, and what is out-of-bounds. Make sure they understand that there are private areas of their bodies that no one else should touch.
• Rehearse your child's response to danger. If he/she doesn't practice it, your child really won't really know what to do. Telling your child to yell for help isn't enough. In the face of danger, a child could forget, so rehearse, role-play, and practice what your child should do.
• Remind your children that predators don't necessarily look scary or strange. A dangerous person could look like the person next door, or even be someone they know.

Sigh. Scary stuff. This is my worst nightmare as a parent. Even beats my fear of sharks and the dark lol.

I swear, if anyone abused/hurt/threatened/maimed/looked sideways at my children, I'd go all "shoot you when you least expect it" wacko. Although a little torture might be in order first... then a shooting... perhaps a bit of a bleed out... bit more torture... you get the picture.

lesson of the day: never lie to your mother

A young man called Paul invited his mother for dinner.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Paul's flatmate, Danny, was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Paul and his flatmate than met the eye.

Reading his mums thoughts, Paul volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Danny & I are just flatmates."

About a week later, Danny came to Paul saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan. You don't suppose she took it do you?"

"Well I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure," said Paul.

So he sat down and wrote:
DEAR MOTHER,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.
LOVE PAUL

Several days later, Paul received an email from his mother which read:
DEAR SON,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH DANNY, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO NOT" SLEEP WITH DANNY BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF HE WAS SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED, HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW.
LOVE MUM