a heap of shit cos i'm bored and surfing the net looking at crap

I can't believe the following website is serious lol. First of all, someone writes this shit. Second of all, someone actually BUYS this shit?

Wtf... what advice could they possibly be giving? Unless its a plastic surgeon who specialises in boob job's phone number or something. I mean, seriously, a man's either interested in you or he isn't. Some people just don't have that special quality, that thing that attracts and holds a lover. Get with reality people!

How to get a man to adore you

Have you ever known the kind of woman...

• that men fall hopelessly in love with
• with whom men want to spend all their time
• whom men want to please and do anything for
• who brings out the romantic and passionate side of a man, and
• to whom men want to give everything?
  

What special quality, trait, or personality does this woman have that attracts men like a magnet, makes men powerless in her hands, and makes them want to spend their lives with her?

I've personally met many women like this -- and here's the startling observation I've made: These women are not necessarily the most beautiful, the tallest, the smartest, the one with the most gorgeous hair, sexy legs or the most ample breasts, as one might think!

Do you know that you as a woman, have the delicious power to make a man fall in love with you, to influence a man, to bring him to his knees? Do you know how to get a man to want to spend his life with you -- and want to fulfill your every desire?

Yes, it's true! The best part is that you can do it easily and effortlessly by being yourself -- and NOT shaping yourself into someone you're not - just to keep your man interested. I'll give you solid proof of this in a moment.

"The Woman Men Adore... and Never Want to Leave" works... Buy it now!!! Just a zillion trillion dollars probably... You'll discover the secret that will make you radiate like a warm and glowing campfire -- and give you an aura that men will find absolutely irresistible.

* * * * * * * * * *

Ooooh hold on, crisis averted... http://christiananswers.net/q-dml/dml-y030.html

Phew, I think I've finally solved the age-old question of What Is True Love with more random net surfing. The Christians have an answer, praise be to baby Allah! No wait.. Jesus... argh, my mistake. So many deities, so little thought.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
—I Corinthians 13:4-8a

Sounds good to me. Sums up my concept of love anyway. Pity it doesn't happen like that lol.

But wait, theres more. The christian "advice" continues...

Love is best seen as devotion and action, not an emotion. Love is not exclusively based on how we feel.

Oh. I've heard that line of shit before actually. Love isn't an emotion? Love is a practical action? Um... hello? The word dumbfuck comes to mind yet again. How can they be so stupid as to follow up a well written "Love is blah blah" verse with some church-recited bullshit about how love isn't a feeling!? Zomg I might fail at this crap and life in general but I'm not that god damn stupid.

* * * * * * * * * *

Now I'm thinking... time for a bit of urban dictionary dot com. Maybe urban dictionary can help me resolve the love issue.

So... urbandick... what IS love?

Two choices really. It's either #1 or #2. I'm not sure.

#1 Love is...
The most spectacular,indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone.
Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you're in love, you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete.
This love is unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone. It's when you trust the other with your life and when you would do anything for each other. You hide nothing of yourself and can tell the other anything because you know they accept you just the way you are and vice versa.
It's when they're the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and when they're the first thing you think of when you wake up, the feeling that warms your heart and leaves you overcome by a feeling of serenity.
Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Love is intense,and passionate. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful when you're in love. If you find it, don't let it go.

OR...

#2 Love is...
Nature's way of tricking people into reproducing.

* * * * * * * * * *

Hmm. So the dumbfuck christians are only half right, urbandick is undecided on the true meaning of love, and I'm fortunately not stupid enough to fall for the money making ploy of "The Women Men Adore". So I guess I'm stuck then.

Oh well. Time to face facts about my lovelife. F for Fail.