ffs

Was I a really bad person in a former life? Or do I just have bad karma lol?

It turns out Noah's been sick and whingey the last 4 or 5 days cos the little pest has got the damn freaking MEASLES!

What the? Spots started appearing yesterday and then this morning he was covered. Grrr.

I think he's a drama queen lol - one thing after another. He's only just 1 and he's already had stitches, antibiotics, middle of the night ambulance visit, viruses... and now the measles! Must be in the genes lol. *points to WK*

So the whole "relaxing" day thing is off. Sigh. At home looking after whingey poo bum instead... and yes I mean Noah lol. The other whingey poo bum can look after himself for a change. :p

i think i'm too tired to blog

... so I'm gonna make this short and sweet.

Two blogworthy points:

1. today sucked. stressful. hospital visit... saw the physician who looks after me and my health as opposed to the obstetrician who's in charge of the fetus. not pleasant - what with the serious discussion and all lol. long story involving the fact that I think I'm allergic to pregnancy lol. or maybe I'm just allergic to children, hehe. *fingers crossed for little Blobby* yes I realise we need to plan for all types of outcomes, yes I realise this is a high risk pregnancy, and yes I realise the "no more babies" thing lol. but seriously, we're 16 weeks already and things aren't going that badly! Blob's still here and I'm still breathing ffs!

... and cos today was so sucky...

2. we're gonna do the whole fun newlyweds "pretend we're on a honeymoon" thing tomorrow and forget about all the stress of uni and money and blob and, well, everything. go out for breakfast... go for a walk on the beach... hopefully catch a daytime movie... spend money we dont have lol. yay. Noah better damn well behave or it'll be all grrr'y. :P

See? I'm too tired to even use capital letters or punctuation lol.

Meh, whatever.

*hyperventilates* I saw the R rating, and for a sec I thought "oh fk they're gonna delete me like msn did to my first blog"... but, phew...

LOL. Stay away kiddies!

Hmm... I need to make this blog worse. An R rating is not bad enough when you compare it to Moth's NC-17 (no one under 17 allowed) rating for his anti-christian whinging "yes we were sheep, but thank the lord we got out... oops, not the lord... thank someone else instead... oh gosh I don't know who to thank now, what do I do?" blog.

So I guess I'll have to add more swear words.
Here goes... just the basics...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
shit shit shit shit shit shit
ass ass ass ass ass ass
bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt
hell hell hell hell hell hell
bastard bastard bastard bastard
piss piss piss piss piss piss
dick dick dick dick dick dick
tit tit tit tit tit tit

Arrgh what have I missed?

*roars*

Ok ok... all that Craigsy gaybo gbf astrological crap last weekend (long story lol) got me thinking about what it means to be a Leo. Cos, yeah, I'm not into astrology but its scary just how stereotypically Leo I am.

This info comes from a variety of net sources - I've lost track lol.

Positive traits: Loyal and honest, expansive, generous and caring, house proud, lively, flamboyant, self sacrificing, responsible, takes others at face value, dignified and friendly.
Negative traits: Too much pride, sulky, smug and boastful, likes to keep up appearances, obstinate, arrogant, willful and cold hearted when hurt or upset.

Greatest Strength: Your playful and loving nature
Possible Weakness: Pride/ego

Hmm, yes, so far thats basically all true. Arrogant, obstinate, willful, cold hearted - man I sound nasty lol.

Interesting...
From, I dunno, some website
Leo's are born fortunate (wtf? have you not seen my family?).
Charismatic and positive-thinking they attract not only an abundance of friends and opportunities, but manage to survive life's stormy times with style and good humour (no comment lol).
Once a Lion is committed to a relationship, they are totally devoted and faithful. Should their heart or trust be broken they never forgive or forget (yep, I call it "holding a grudge" :P).
When a relationship breaks down they can disappear into the sunset without a backward look. (omg... its like they're talking about my first marriage lol)
Leos can cut ties, and leave others heartbroken, but usually there is a good reason why they have broken a tryst. For a Leo, when a relationship is over, really over, it is over for good.
(And this is where it gets really interesting ->)
There are three levels of soul-evolution of the Leos:
1. The highest is represented by the Sphinx; wise beyond their years and great teachers to others.
2. The second is the Lion, King of the Jungle, ruled by ego but always protective and sustaining of those they love.
3. The last is the Lion Cub, immature and undeveloped, frightened by anything new. These Leos cling to others (in the mode of the child not wanting to leave its mother's side).) They can't bear to be alone.
No matter what level they have attained, all Leos are trendsetters, leaders and adventurers. Their weakness is their pride. This is one sign where the saying "flattery will get you everything" applies, but be warned criticism will slam the relationship door right in your face (lol, too true!).

So I have an evolving soul huh? Hmm.
I guess I'm not a Sphynx cos I aint that wise lol. Plus "sphynx" refers to the waxing of the ass. So I wouldn't want to be that anyway - sheesh.
I guess I'm not a Lion Cub either cos I'm certainly not a frightened little mummy's boy... or girl... whatever.
So that leaves the Lion I guess. Ego... protective of loved ones... yep, yep. Sigh. How boring.
Give me something I don't know dammit!

So I'm a lion then. *roars quietly cos its still early*

I have no idea where Disso got this from, but...

This post-it is cute in a bad way lol, and it sorta matches my whole fat-pregnancy-depressed state from earlier in the week.

I, however, would never call myself beautiful, fine or interesting. I may have a Leo's ego but I'm much more realistic than that lol.

And I sure as *insert F word here* would never ever ever say that I am "someone of sound mind". LOL. Never!!

Still... I like this post-it. Meh, whatever.

so self aware, so full of shit

Bad me...

Phew. I know its bad but... I saw a woman who's ass was literally three times the width of her shoulders tonight. Maybe four times. She gave new meaning to the phrase "all ass". Not that I've heard that phrase before, but meh.

And apart from the fact that she had to walk sideways in between chairs in the restaurant... more bad me... she seemed happily married, two young kids and a normal-assed husband. Please someone stop me lol before I get struck down by lightning.

I'm really not trying to be nasty. I just... it makes me realise I'm not that bad after all lol.

I guess I'm just depressed and frustrated by this whole fat pregnancy thing. Or as WK calls it, the extra squidgy pregnancy bits (GRRRRRRRR). I know its stupid, I know weight doesn't matter blah blah... but fuck it. I am shallow. I'm not a fat person lol. I don't get the whole yuk fat thing. I feel as if I'm wearing a padded 5kg suit and the real me is underneath it lol. If only!

WK and I have made an agreement - cos he puts on weight with me during the pregnancy lol - to go nuts on the whole diet/exercise thing after Baby Blob gets born (what can I say, I crave things like kfc and he eats what I eat :P) . It stresses me to be so... eeky. Can't stand the mirror, can't even stand to look at my dragonfly tatt lol. Cos it looks all... wrong. My poor dragonfly lol. *cries*

My non-out of shape dragonfly on my non-preg body... sigh.
Took forever to find this photo lol.

Speaking of Blob...

I had an ultrasound the other day - but no, still don't know the gender yet. Little Blob was staring directly at the "camera", all sweet and still. Perfect shot of head/torso and all arms and legs.

And just as I thought "awww, maybe I'm not totally anti-maternal after all", for no reason at all, Blob threw this major tanty. Arms and legs flailing in time with each other. What the? Not another one lol. Tantrums and its still in utero? Eek.

Doesn't look like much of a blob anymore either lol. More of a demonic skeletal type of thing these days. But, meh, I like the name Blob.

Did someone mention tatts?

I think I need a new one lol. Gonna start planning it now, so that by the time Blob is out and about I'll be all set to go. Yay, a new tatt for christmas!

About time! Any suggestions? What and where? Something cool but still girly.

Oi... WK, Looloo, Disso (get something Guild Wars-y and Shane'd love it lol), Moth... someone needs to come get tatt'd with me at the end of the year. Get planning! No pikers!

Slavery...

Slavery should sooo be legal. I'm sitting here too lazy to wee, too lazy to get a drink, too lazy to go to bed, too lazy to watch a movie, too lazy to basically do anything cept sit here and stare at the monitor. I'm cold too.

I need someone to do my bidding for me. The kids are still too young for real slavery, and besides, they're all asleep dammit. Whats with that. When they're old enough I'm gonna give them maids/butlers uniforms for christmas (hehe).

I tried to fool 11 yr old Laura into getting me dessert tonight, but even that didn't work. She somehow managed to outsmart me. Sigh.

Yes, I need a slave. A real slave. I'd have to be a guy though, cos otherwise WK'd be forever ogling her. I can imagine it already lol. *daydreams about the perfect slave* Or should that be *nightdreams* since its night time?

Yes, I need a slave. Any takers? Pay's shite (nonexistent actually) but it beats a crap job.

if i was a dog chasing cars all day i think i'd be a mutt... anything but a poodle :p

"Chasing Cars"...

Maybe its me but I don't understand the chasing cars analogy.

Like, what the?
I like the melody of this song, I like this song.

Well, for a silly girly lovey song that is lol.
I'll try not to bastardise it with stupid sarcastic comments

too much - well, I'll try lol. :P
I need to point out, though, that as nice as lying with the person

you love and shutting the rest of the world out is...

there's still the issue of sex.

I can imagine lying in bed, with this song playing, fulfilling the

dream, and then on comes Tenacious D's Fuck Her Gently.

You get the point.
"awww this is nice, lying together, peaceful"
*music changes*
Need I say more? lol

We'll do it all

Everything

On our own

We don't need

Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words

Are said too much

They're not enough

("Are" said too much... huh?)

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

(see - whats that mean?)

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

*insert repeated verses here*

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

(my fav verse, sigh)

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Thank goodness this song is mainstream radio crap.

I wouldn't want to be classified as emo lol. Eek!

cutesy ->

I still can't believe the little pest is a year old already. Eek!

I'm not sure what the point of this face is...

or the pants on the head lol. Little toad.

oops... lovey crap

I forgot to mention earlier, in the previous blog, about my vow problems (thats v-o-w not b-o-w-e-l btw).

I had written a first draft ages ago, and left it stored on my pc. So... turns out I completely forgot to print it out and take it with me when I packed and left the house, heading out for my 24 hours of fun friend stuff/avoid husband to be stuff. So I figured, what the heck, no big deal, I'll just write new vows. Shouldn't be that hard huh?

Cept I never did. I couldn't decide what to say and I was either hanging with friends or too tired or sleeping or whatever to sit down and try to write something. Turns out it WAS too hard lol.

So 4pm comes around - half an hour to go till the big W - and I still have no idea what to say. I, like, have no vows! I'm fully stressing out. We leave the hotel... and I'm asking everyone around me for some vow advice... eek! We get to the Point and there's everyone waiting... AND STILL I HAVE NO FRICKIN VOWS!

I said a quick hello to everyone, including Luke lol... and then immediately said to the pastor marrying us, "shit Jason I have no vows". I think he actually breathed a sigh of relief lol. Turns out he was really worried about what non-traditional stuff Luke and I might say. LOL. So he just added to the baptist vows we already "had" to say. Talk about a PHEW moment!

Anyhoo, Luke's first vow draft is actually left as a comment (sorta) on the previous previous blog lol. Yep, two previous's. He also did a speech that included what he wanted to say in his vows after the wedding dinner... so I figure wtf. Might as well blog what should have been my vows lol. So here it is:


Luke… I love you with everything I have to give. You are my love, my life, my world, and I thank you for being by my side as we raise our family.

I might occasionally use words like man-boy or geek-boy to describe you, but truth is that without you I would be lost. When you hold me, it’s as if the world stops and time ceases to be. I’ll be stressing out about something and you’ll just walk up and hug me, and suddenly everything is ok. You are the yin to my yang so to speak, and I feel so very blessed to be given the opportunity to share my life with you.

So.. on to the formal bit… I take you, Luke Cross, to be my friend, my lover, my husband. To live with you, and laugh with you. To stand by your side, and sleep in your arms. I give you my hand, I give you my love, and I give you myself.


And btw... you give it back Luke... and by "it" I mean my hand/love/self... and I breaka your legs. And breaking your legs includes slicing off your manhood. Just so you know. No threats or anything (man I don't know why the pastor was so worried about what I might say lol)...

its a love/hate thing

Wow what a weekend. I wish some parts went slower and other parts faster lol.

Here's the rundown:

• Friday -
  Yay, time with my best buds who I don't get to see much. Cept Looloo, I see her a lot lol. Hung out, got nails done, chatted about inane stuff, chatted about important stuff, had a few drinks, ate great food... and consequently went to bed way too late. Enjoyed it though.


• Saturday -
  Soooo hard to get out of bed in the morning. I actually thought about postponing the wedding for 24 hours so I could catch up on sleep lol. Not seriously... but, well, you know. I was tired and wanted to lie in bed all day. One of those "wish time would stop for a while" moments. Noah, on the other hand, was wide awake and crawling all over me from sunrise onwards. Grr.
  Conscripted the Mothman to go do jobs for me by loaning him my car - phew. Cos I didn't have enough hours in the day to do everything lol. Thanks!
  Pick up kids, pick up cake, get hair done etc, all that "mutton dressed as lamb" wedding stuff... man I looked like a clown. :S
  Pick up more kids, drop off cake, and its back to the hotel to prepare food, set up the balcony, ice the drinks... oh and actually get dressed.
  Noah, of course, decided he needed feeding at precisely the time I needed to leave for the wedding, so, yup, I was late. Oops.


• The wedding ceremony -
  Beautiful time of day, sunset. At the top of the boardwalk, the point, on a cliff, overlooking the beach... blah blah. I was sooo very nervous. I can't even put the level of my nerves into words. I was all eeky lol.
  Check out some of the pics below. But ignore my fetal gut. Why oh why do all the photos we've seen so far ALL contain my giant stomach! Whats with that! I hate photos at the best of time cos I always look stupid in them. I'm either smiling too much or not enough, or maybe I blinked just as the camera went off, or maybe... meh, trust me, I hate photos. I look stupid in 2D. Point is - I'm all *shudders* in every damn wedding photo. What is wrong with you people! Sigh. I am never (I repeat, never!) allowing photos of me to be taken ever, EVER again.

• The fun wedding bits -
  We all went back to the hotel balcony (hhuuuugeee balcony!) for drinks and nibblies and stuff. In fact we were there so long that I had to ring the surf club and tell them we were going to be 40 mins late for the dinner lol.
  But, meh, there were drinks and chats to be had! (and omg you should have seen the mess in the morning!)
  Then it was off to the Surf Club for dinner and a speech or two and the *drools* yummy cake. And of course... more chatting, more drinking, a dance or two... heck, even some pokie playing by the drunkards amongst us.
  
• Retrospectively -
  I think most people appreciated the relaxed atmosphere of the ceremony and the celebrations afterwards... altho I know some family members weren't impressed lol. I felt most sorry for my grandparents, who really shouldnt have had to walk all over the place or wait so long for their dinner etc. But I did try to look after them.
  A couple of my close friends sat at the kids tables too, so it was hard for them to mingle etc. I don't think they enjoyed themselves much either. :(
  But, yeah, I hope most people thought it was a nice wedding. We wanted it be relaxed and easy going - no traditional pompous crap. I hate crap lol. I just hope it didn't come just across as totally unorganised, eek.
  Food was great (thanks to Looloo and her mum and Kate - you guys are legends!), there were heaps of drinks to be had (woot!). What more could one ask for lol?
  Luke's asked me not to bitch, but I dunno, can't help it. A heap of family members left early, part way through the pre-dinner celebrations at the hotel... thats before we even got to the surf club lol. Makes me feel sad for Luke as well as personally offended. I don't get that - some people just have different priorities I guess. Family first doesn't always apply (oh I just realised thats a Dr Phil quote lol - how sad!)
  
• All in all... and I'm not really bitching, I'm just reflecting on the good and the bad...
  It was a no-stress, relaxed celebration with our closest friends and family. I had a good time (even tho Noah was painful here and there), Luke had a good time... and I hope most people enjoyed themselves. We really appreciate the efforts made by everyone to come and spend this time with us, especially those who travelled long distances. We had guests fly and drive to the coast from as far away as Sydney and Mackay and, eek, even Central Qld!!
  
• Today -
  Its weird but I'm having a sad day today. Keep thinking about things that happened over the weekend, things that were said, the things I should have said and didn't... I keep replaying stuff over in my head, like its a movie and I'm re-watching my favourite scenes lol. Heck, in some scenes I'm even the director lol, changing things, doing things differently. I think they call that daydreaming lol.
  I think I'm most sad that the weekends over, and that we're home already, back to normal life. Sigh.

Like I said before... wow what a weekend.

sigh

Tired. Really tired. But brain won't turn off. So many things to do. I shouldn't have turned my computer on lol.

I need to write a list, maybe I'll feel more "in control" if I have a silly handwritten piece of paper which I can carry with me everywhere during the next few days. So I don't forget anything. Or miss anything. Or forget to miss anything. Or whatever.

An itinerary. Thats what I need. Yes. Will do that now. Then back to bed.

Short sentences. Somewhat intriguing. Weird, unusual... but mainly just weird.

Now wheres the damn normal paper and pen instead of this monitor and keyboard business?

ramble ramble ramble... don't think, don't edit... just ramble

So I've been slightly busy in the last week or so. Things to do, places to go, people to see.

Noah had his first birthday this week, which was fun. Hard to believe the little pest is a year old already. On the one hand it seems like only yesterday I was pregnant, yet on the other hand I can't remember life without him... or more specifically, a life without sleep deprivation.

I vaguely recall going to bed whenever you felt like it and sleeping till you woke up. I vaguely recall lying in bed and watching movies all weekend when its pouring rain. I vaguely recall trips to the cinema, and going out for dinner without a stressful "omg lets just go home" ordeal. I vaguely recall nights out to play sport with the girlies, or heck, just nights out with friends in general. I vaguely recall daytime cappucinos and lattes and relaxing shopping expeditions at the plaza. I vaguely recall the ability to be impulsive lol.

I mean, I still do some of these things... but with a little whingey tagalong in his pram with his nappy bag and spare clothes and all that official baby crap. Sigh.

He loved his Thomas trains, and his Thomas cake. OMG did he love the cake lol. He seems to love anything with wheels, and Thomas the Tank Engine in particular - I guess its cos Thomas has that stupid big train face lol. Noah also - unfortunately - likes the Wiggles. I think we should invest in more than 1 dvd tho cos I'm sick to GRRR of the same music and sound effects and dialogue over and over and over and over again. Damn the Wiggles! Damn them I say!

Actually, the little pest goes to his first ever day at day care tomorrow... eek. It'll only be for a couple of hours, and I don't feel bad or guilty lol. Thursday's my doctor/hospital day so it means I don't have to put him in and out the car and drag him around to all the damn doctors. So thats cool. And of course, every 2nd Thursday, when I don't have doc appointments... well, I might try out a few of those vague "latte and shopping" type of memories. Or I might catch up on some sleep lol.

So what else is there? Um...

Still busy with wedding organisational type of stuff. Hope to get the last few things done tomorrow if I'm nice and quick at the hospital.

Speaking of bottleshops (or should I say thinking of bottleshops)... it sux that I can't drink at the wedding. Grr. Going out with the girly friends for dinner soon tho, might indulge in a light beer or something then. Fortunately for everyone else, at least we have a designated driver - ME! Fair not! It's really strange how much I crave things like beer and champagne (I mean, I don't even drink champers!) when I'm pregnant. That sooo can't be a good thing. :P

Hey - question - "girly friends". If a guy is gay is he classified as guy or girl when you're in a group? Cos I'm thinking "girly". Yes he might have a penis, but its like... a fake one. He's not actually a guy guy. He might as well be a girl... know what I mean? Point is, I am happy to have gay guys tag along on girly nights cos, well... they're big girls. =D

Ironically, I also classify lezbo girls as girls, lol. I guess I define "girly friends" as:

• girls... of course... regardless of dykedom vs heterodom (us XX chromosome's have to stick together after all!)
• gay guys... basically any non-threatening, non-male-y guy I guess (cept how often do you ever seen a non-maley straight guy lol - they might "pretend" to be all snaggy but we know the truth!)

So, basically, a girly friend is any friend who isn't a male-y hetero guy. Hmm. It's sort of an exclusionary definition I guess. Also excludes all variation of husband, boyfriend, partner. Gay boyfriends yes, real husbands no... lol'ing at Disso (yeah yeah, private joke).

So where was I before I got sidetracked? Um... yeah... alcohol. *dreams*

fyi - the 4 most dangerous questions a woman can ask a man...

1. "What are you thinking, darling?"
2. "Do you love me?"
3. "Does my bum look big in this?"
4. "Do you think she's prettier than me?"

What makes these questions so very lethal is that almost every man gives the wrong answer, leading to a major argument at best, or divorce and murder at worst!

For example:

1. "What are you thinking, darling?"
The correct answer to this question, is, of course: "I'm sorry if I've been a little pre-occupied, my angel. To tell the truth, (as if the bastard ever would!) I was just reflecting on what a warm, caring, thoughtful, funny, intelligent, sexy and stunningly beautiful woman you are and what a jolly fortunate chap I am to have you."
Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the tosser was really thinking about at the time, which was most likely one of the following:
a. Football
b. sex (but not with you).
c. How big your arse looks in that dress.
d. how much prettier the woman next door is than you.

2. "Do you love me?"
The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those who want to make sure the good woman gets the message it's best to be a little more effusive by replying: "Yes, my angel. You know I think the world of you."
Wrong answers include:
a. "Mmm?"
b. "Would it make you feel better if I said yes?"
c. "That depends on what you mean by 'love." (Prepare to die...)
d. "Does it matter, darling? It's only a word after all." (This one will probably result in you sustaining serious injuries to the fleshier parts of your anatomy).

3. "Does my bum look big in this?"
This is probably the most difficult question of all. Whilst the correct answer is undoubtedly to confidently and quickly affirm: "No, of course not! You look simply stunning, my angel!" and then beat a hasty retreat, many men make the mistake of hesitating before answering. This is invariably fatal as a woman will pounce on the slightest delay and subject you to a full hour's rigorous interrogation during which she will try on twenty different dresses in the hope of catching you out. Inevitably you will break under the pressure and make the mistake of admitting "you look good in anything, darling." After that, you're lost.
Wrong answers include:
a. "I wouldn't say so, but perhaps the blue one would suit you better..." (Oh shit...!)
b. "Compared to what?" (Almost as bad an answer as [a])
c. "I like a little meat on my women." (Prepare to have you bunny well and truly boiled)
d. "I've seen bigger ones." (this is the clever answer. Or so men think. If you use it, you're dead meat.)

4. "Do you think she's prettier than me?"
The 'she' in question could be an ex-girlfriend, a cute-arsed teenager you were staring at so hard that you almost drove under a bus, a page three slapper or the girl next door. In every case, the correct answer always is, "What - that fat ugly old slapper? No, you're much prettier, darling."
Wrong answers include:
a. "Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.." (You might get away with this with some women... the dumb women).
b. "Beauty's in the eye of the beholder, don't you think?" (Nope. Not when she's asking, it isn't, chummy. You're dead meat!)
c. "Yes, but you have a much better personality." (Oh shit...)
d. "Only because she's a bit younger and thinner than you." (Prepare to die...slowly and painfully).

Courtesy of Men: don't answer her!

someecards.com for the perfect message

Love...

Get well soon...

Encouragement...

Happy birthday...

Friendship...

stolen from james

1.What's in your wallet? Cards and more cards. Maybe $3 in change... maybe.
2.What's under your bed? Um... just the naughty stuff.
3.What's on that way top shelf or in the very far back of your closet? Swords. WK has silly swords lol. Even cut me with one once lol.
4.What's in your underwear drawer? Hmm. Underwear? Plus a few extras. ;)
5.What's in the trunk of your car? Oooh exciting stuff - pram, nappy bag, toys and a jack!
6.What colour is the underwear your wearing at this moment? Black. Shock.
7.Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what's in it? Um, no. I should get one tho. *thinks back to when I left a certain noticeably not PG rated phallic-shaped item on the table next to my bed, and the next day my daughter came into my bedroom for a chat, and I forgot it was there, and she had a weird look on her face*
8.Do you feel guilty about something right now, if yes what? Nah guilt smuilt.
9.What is the most embarrassing thing in your room right now? Um... the phallic-shaped item which is still sitting on the table next to my bed lol? Sad but true.
10.Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about? Like what? Hmm. I hope my doc doesn't find out I lied about my last hospital visit lol.
11.What is your last thought before you fall asleep? "I hope to fuck that this baby sleeps tonight... he better, or I'll..." *snore*. What can I say? I'm frickin tired.
12.How long have those leftovers been in the fridge? Lol, almost never. Almost. In fact, I don't think there are any atm.
13.If I confiscated your computer and took a look around....what would I find? Illegally downloaded music and porn. Plus a heap of boring animated and other moth-given pics. Thats it really. :P
14.Do you sleep with anything? Most nights just me and my pillow... and the baby... cos god forbid he slept all night in his damn cot. *swears*
15.What is your midnight snack weakness? I don't eat midnight snacks... I do however continually bitch about wanting one. And its normally things like pizza or nacho's or chocolate or coke or kfc or... basically anything bad.
16.Have you ever you shop lifted? Uh huh. Once. Scary lol. My ex-hub was a habitual thief tho (I tell ya, never trust a teacher!). He used to steal random things like a fork or knife from a restaurant, a glass from a pub... just for the "thrill" of stealing it.
17.Have you ever vandalized anything? Does high school count? Me and a bunch of girly friends once wrote nasty stuff on the back of a toilet door about a group of rival girls. Got busted for it too, since, like, we put our initials there lol. 14 yr old stupidity. I wasted hours of my life that week cleaning the damn toilet block.
18.Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Let's just say yes to be safe. Cos, well, yeah. I know a few devils lol, and I'm a bit of a night owl. :P
19.What do you wait until no one is looking to do? Heck, when is noone ever looking? Shit I have 3 kids and a partner and a cat... there is always SOMEONE around! I barely even get to shower alone dammit!

Thanks to Letters from the Sanitarium for this one. :D

note to self: Why, may I ask, are some Americans so damn self-obsessed? Grrr, get with the program people!

Answer: Dunno. lol.

In other news...

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat as much.
If you had a school for professional fireworks people, I don't think you could cover fuses in just one class. It's just too rich a subject.
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening.
If I live in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. Then, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like, "Hey look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everyone would get real quiet and ashamed, because they made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
When I think back on all the blessings I have been given in my life, I can't think of a single one, unless you count that rattlesnake that granted me all those wishes.
I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick 'Americans' as their mascot.
Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?"

LOL. Reminds me of Elliot Goblet.

And if you're in a comical type of mood and feel like poking fun at Americans, read on...

Q: How many Americans can you fit in a phone booth?
A: A whole army....if you put it in a desert and tell them its not theirs.

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

I know, I know, bad bad me. :P

It's not that I don't like Americans... I have some in my family lol. But... meh, whatever.

meh

Just in one of those off moods. I like this pic - found it a few nights ago on someone's blog somewhere... wish I could remember lol.

The whole person hiding within a person concept - intriguing. And notice how disjointed the "outer" person (the real actual person) is. I also like the fact that the person "looks" the same... the inner and outer person is actually represented the same visually (cept for the disjointed square thing of course lol). Anyhoo I like it and its appropriate atm.

In other news... that little inner person... thats how I sit in the shower lol. The grey stuff is the shower water and the little blue person hugging his/her legs while he's probably asleep (or maybe just very very sleepy) is, well, me!

Um.. what else is there.. meh, whatever. Tired. Hormonal probably. Stuff to do.

And speaking of stuff I just want to reiterate how much I dislike family and all their 'input' when it comes to weddings etc. Like, seriously, if you're thinking of getting married... its just not worth it. Elope instead. Unless you have one of those perfect beaver cleaver type families where everyone supports each other but minds their own business at the appropriate time... meh. Just elope. I hear hamilton island is a really nice "elope here" type of destination lol.

Where was I? Oh yeah. The wedding. Less than 2 weeks away. Its a very low key, informal affair. No big airy fairy reception, no flowers, no bridal party, no church, no rings (*sobs*), no cake... none of the pompous, silly wedding stuff. I'm really looking forward to the whole weekend... its just that we have other semi-more important stuff going on (like with baby blob for instance, and Noah). So when family keep going on and on about wedding crap... I'm like, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Obviously getting married IS a big deal... but the wedding details are so NOT a big deal. Sigh.

I'm sooo talking in circles. Tired. End blog.

Japanese toilet training... eek

baby blob update

"Welcome to your second trimester! Your raging hormones could be calming down a bit and you may also notice your nausea tapering off. Most women happily wave goodbye to morning sickness around now (although queasiness can return periodically throughout pregnancy). This week, your baby's face looks much more human, even though she is only about 5.5cms long from her crown to her rump and weighs slightly less than 14 grams. Her eyes have moved closer together and her ears are just about where they should be. Your baby has entered what is known as the fetal period, when tissues and organs rapidly grow and mature. Many women enjoy pregnancy much more in this trimester."

Hmm. So apparently I can't bitch about pregnancy nausea anymore, damn. And its looking more human... great. AND, hmm, apparently its a girl! No ultrasound needed after all! Thanks BabyCentre!!

In other news... that pics looks human?? Eek. And why is that cartoon woman not even showing a tummy? This is my 4th baby... 9th pregnancy all up... so I'm HUGE! I think I was this big at the end of my first pregnancy lol. Stupid non elastic skin and stupid stretchy womb. Grrr.

P.S. Am I the only one who thinks that little widget baby is starting to look really really creepy?

serious for a blog-sec

I started surfing wedding disasters... looking for an interesting blog idea lol. But I got a little sidetracked by this episode of Dr Phil called Child Predators. Thought I should do my moral duty and pass on the info...

You could be sitting next to one in church or standing next to one at the grocery store. Who is trying to prey on your children? Dr. Phil goes into a maximum security prison and inside the mind of a child predator. Learn how they operate and how to spot them.

Spotting a Predator - The most dangerous pedophile might look like the person next door. A convicted child molester explains how he deceived children and their parents.

• According to David, he molested at least 100 children. To get children to trust him, he said he would talk in a high, child-like voice, and ask them about games or toys that they liked. He also said his appearance helped children feel comfortable with him. "If I was dressed in overalls and looked like a country hick, I would appeal to very few people," David explained. Instead, he says he made sure to have clothing and hair that the kids would think was "cool."
• David usually got to know the children and their families well. "The grooming process," he explains, "is the time that a pedophile takes in order to get the child ready to be molested. In my case, I don't pounce on them. I don't use money. I don't use drugs. I don't use pornography. I don't say, 'Don't tell your parents.' I look like an all-American boy."
• How can a parent spot a predator like David? He explains, "A parent can spot me when I'm going the extra mile, when I'm supposed to be doing something else. When something doesn't feel right to them, that should be a red flag, that should be a warning signal going off. As the saying goes, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
• If a parent is suspicious that someone is a predator, he/she should take action immediately. "Start asking questions, investigate his background, do whatever you need to do." David says. "Why am I spending so much time [with the child]? Why am I willing to do the extra things that I'm doing? Why do I caress them when I hug them?"He also warns parents about people who try to win children away from their parents with promises of gifts or money.
• David chose to be chemically castrated. Every two years he is evaluated, and may someday be released. If he got out today, would he molest children again? "Yes," he answers. "Do I want to be out before I'm ready? No, I don't."

What Parents Can Do - As scary as it may be, parents need to talk to their kids about people who might want to hurt them. The best way to protect your children is to get them involved in their own protection.

• Parents need to be aware of possible predators. Typical signs are: someone who seems too good to be true, who offers extensive help to your family, who knows too much about your kids or kids in general, especially if they don't have children of their own.
• Talk to your kids about pedophiles as soon as they can understand what you mean. As early as 3-5 years old, when kids begin to interact with the world, they're subject to being victims.
• Don't be afraid that you're scaring your kids, but don't ask them to deal with adult issues either. Speak to them in age-appropriate language and give them instructions about what to do. They will feel empowered by knowing how to protect themselves. Be careful sharing your own experiences if you were a victim of sexual molestation, for example. Providing too many details and rehashing the tragedy can create a sexually charged environment and be harmful for your children in the long run.
• Kids need to know that they have the right to say no, yell, or ask for help. It may contradict what they know about respecting adults, but if they feel threatened, they have permission to make a scene, or to run away to a public place. And they need to know they won't get into trouble if they were wrong.
• Make sure your kids know what is acceptable behavior, and what is out-of-bounds. Make sure they understand that there are private areas of their bodies that no one else should touch.
• Rehearse your child's response to danger. If he/she doesn't practice it, your child really won't really know what to do. Telling your child to yell for help isn't enough. In the face of danger, a child could forget, so rehearse, role-play, and practice what your child should do.
• Remind your children that predators don't necessarily look scary or strange. A dangerous person could look like the person next door, or even be someone they know.

Sigh. Scary stuff. This is my worst nightmare as a parent. Even beats my fear of sharks and the dark lol.

I swear, if anyone abused/hurt/threatened/maimed/looked sideways at my children, I'd go all "shoot you when you least expect it" wacko. Although a little torture might be in order first... then a shooting... perhaps a bit of a bleed out... bit more torture... you get the picture.

lesson of the day: never lie to your mother

A young man called Paul invited his mother for dinner.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Paul's flatmate, Danny, was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Paul and his flatmate than met the eye.

Reading his mums thoughts, Paul volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Danny & I are just flatmates."

About a week later, Danny came to Paul saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan. You don't suppose she took it do you?"

"Well I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure," said Paul.

So he sat down and wrote:
DEAR MOTHER,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.
LOVE PAUL

Several days later, Paul received an email from his mother which read:
DEAR SON,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH DANNY, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO NOT" SLEEP WITH DANNY BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF HE WAS SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED, HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW.
LOVE MUM